Kill Potter
by Trey Parker
Summary: Kill Bill and Harry Potter intertwined. look for Chapter 3 "Twisted" coming in May 2005
1. Beatrix, Harry, Ron Vs Hermoine, Elle

Kill Bill- Elle and Hermoine

This story has language and violence

As Budd lay there on the floor his trailer messed up after he had been murdered by Elle, he lay there in agony.  
"Well, I'm going to read you something my boss found out about what just ripped you apart Okay, Budd"  
Budd groaned and Elle laughed an evil laugh.  
"The Black Mamba is one of the most poisonous snakes in the world, the saying goes in africa in a bush a tiger can kill you, an elephant can kill you or a black mamba can kill you, for you guess which one it is"  
Budd groaned more.  
"a tiger?" budd groaned in agony, "a elephant?", Budd was screaming in pain. "No a black mamba killed you isn't that right you weak trashy shit"  
"wanna know what I'm feeling, it's regret that Beatrix died in the hands of a scrub, bush-whacking, alkie piece of shit like you."

Elle began to pick up the money when her phone rang.  
She picked it up.  
"Hey Bill"  
"No its Hermoine you stupid whore"  
"Hey Hermoine"  
"Im apparating over"  
CRACK! Hermoine the little student girl(boss of Elle) carried her wand in one hand and her griffindor robe in one.  
Hermoine said" you stupid retarded little bitch, why don't you go and pick up that shit heap while i get the sword"  
Elle obiedently got Budd's body and through it out the door but when she opened the door Harry and Beatrix flew in and kicked Elle back in to the TV.  
Harry hit Hermoine and then Elle tried to kick Beatrix but, beatrix ducked and Elle kicked Hermoine, Hermoine turned around and Beatrix kicked her through the wall and Harry went in the Bathroom and attempted to drown Hermoine in the toilet, Hermoine flushed then Harry stabbed her Hand with his wand, distant screaming was heard. then Hermoine stopped wriggling.

Beatrix took the chair broke it over Elle and slammed back in to the counter. Ron Flew in Ron kicked Elle in Beatrix who slammed her head in to the counter.  
"Expelliarmoius!" Ron shouted pointing his wand at Elle. Harry was outside after killing Hermoine and he was holding a piece of wood up, Elle flew through the window and hit the wood then Harry took his bloody wand and poked it in her eye, his stick came out with her eye on it.  
"AHHHHH! YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU FUCKING BITCH! AHHHH!" eLLE SCREAMED, then Harry took the eye off his wand and stomped on it. Beatrix and Ron came out. Beatrix Kicked Elle so hard on her back she broke through the trailer and fell back.  
Beatrix eyed her bloody enemy.  
"Bitch"  
"Now Let's go Kill Bill" said Harry

AT BILL'S HOUSE...

Beatrix kicked Bill in the chest back in to Ron who tripped him and he hit his head on the counter, then he took a gun and shot Ron three times in the face. He pointed the gun at Beatrix, "drop it, bitch"  
Bill stood up then Harry came flying in and kicked Bill in the side and he flew over his bar and in to the racks of glasses behind him.  
"shit!" he said.  
"Beatrix then thru a knife at bill and it hit him in the knee.  
"AHH"  
Harry dived for his ankles and one of his legs came off. Beatrix then took a shard of glass and stabbed him with it then Bill Died.  
HARRY and BEATRIX hugged and smiled and cried and laughed themselves to bed.

THE END

(note- i know i left out Bebe and other things but this is Kill Bill and Harry Potter intertwined) 


	2. Dumbledores Affect

Beatrix stood over her dead friend. She began to weep miserably. A large brown rock flew from the broken down trailer, it whipped across Beatrix's small face.

"Ahh!" she yelled, whining from the pain. She looked back up a huge bleeding gash on her cheek was clear and visible it made Harry wince. "Bloody Hell!" screamed Ron as her ran away tripping on a rock falling down and not getting back up. Harry and Beatrix began to laugh hysterically and then this time a beer bottle flew from the trailer and it smashed in to bits on Harry's head he fell over a bloody wound on his forehead. Beatrix began to Slowly walk towards the entrance of the trailer each step was scary even for her. She swung the door open and BANG!

Dumbledore sat in his Office pondering his thoughts about Snape and Quirrel and Hagrid.

Hagrid sitting before on the floor sedated to a pulp. Hagrid after being cut horribly buy a Higgly-Wumpft. He was now passed out from all the Ritalin and Tylenol.

Dumbledore's door burst open as Snape burst in carrying a large cane and a pink purse.

"I will nots stand for this sweetheart!" He said in a lisp. "Sit down" Dumbledore Shouted, Snape's red lips smacked and then he sat on his chair. With a flick of his wand Dumbledore had grapes up Snape's nose. POP! "Stop it!" said Snape. POP! This time they were blue grapes. "God damn it dumbledore" he removed them as they slid out more popped in. "Blubbity Bitch!" shouted Dumbledore. "_Expelliarmus!"_ Snape flew back in to the wall back a vase and a table.

Dumbledore slid open his drawer and removed a pistol. Hagrid had not been cut by a Higgly-Wumpft, Snape was not guilty, He knew who had hurt Beatrix. Good Bye. The Pistol against his forehead he slightly put pressure on the trigger and BANG!


End file.
